


I dont belong here

by Morgue



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:05:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11793330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgue/pseuds/Morgue
Summary: Tyler never did it.it was alwayshim.





	1. the beginning

It wasn't Tyler's fault

 

None of it was

 

None of it ever was

 

Even as he stood over Josh's dead body. A knife in the middle of his chest.  A small smile engraved on his face, as if saying " _I know it wasn't you ty"_

 

Tyler knelt by his friend, his only friend. the friend he loved but never told. Blood covered his hands "it wasn't me josh"

 

 

Police kicked the door down

 

_It wasn't me_

 

 


	2. The sentence

"Tyler Robert Joseph, a jury of your peers finds you guilty on all accounts of murder. You are being sentenced to 25 years in prison." The judge banged her gavel, snapping me back to reality

"what? No! It wasn't me!" an officer has grabbed my arms and is dragging me out

"IT WASNT ME!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guys comment on this? Also if anyone wants to help just let me know, and it might happen


	3. Jail

"welcome to jail kid. they think you're crazy so you get your own cell" The guard tosses me in like I'm trash in this is my can

I crawl to my bed as the lights go out, starting to cry

"hi tyler"

a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts and tears "josh?"

I look over at the bed across from mine, and can faintly see bright yellow hair "JOSH!"

then its gone, no more

 

**" _What did you expect goner? You killed him! Did you think he'd stick around for long?"_**

 

"but I didn't.....it was you"

 

_**"it was US goner, its always us. never just you. never just me. Always US"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blurry is bold, just sayin.  
> man is this gonna be angsty  
> just warning ya


	4. Meeting the neighbors

After crying myself to sleep I wake up, someone's hand in mine. I look up, and see the familiar yellow haired boy I love "Josh?!"

"Hi tyler, I'm here now. They can't see me. But I'm real ty. I swear" He kissed my head

"who's josh cutie? The boy you left behind when you came here?" I look up and see in the cell across from me two boys. One shorter than the other. The taller of the two had black almost grease like hair "I asked you, who's josh?!" He tugs on the bars, the shorter one comes up to him and wraps his arms around his waist "calm down Gee, don't scare the new guy." He releases his grip from the bars "sorry frank." He kissed the shorter one on the head, frank I guess. He then looked back up at me "I'm Gerard, this is frank. What'cha in for?"

"Gerard don't call him Cutie, we don't even know if he's gay" I hear a voice from beside me say "I'm Patrick, all I did was try and get my mom this like really expensive watch and then these guards were like arggghhhh put It back! And I was like No! Its Christmas and my mom is broke! And they were like we don't care arghhhh!" So I stole it and ran away and they tackled me, turns out it was for some celebrity who sent me here for ten years! Who would have thought!"

"Oh okay........ " i turn my head to Gerard, he still wants an answer, I look up at josh, he gives a small nod of encouragement "um murder" I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear

"Murder? Frank did that a few times. I was a kidnapper, killed a few of them too" 

"Yo Gerard who's the new guy?" Out of the corner of my eye I see a guy with a big forehead

"he's a murder Brendon! " he yelled to him, then looked back at me "what's your name?"

"Tyler, Tyler Joseph"

"it's Tyler bren! " he yells across

"Okay! Cool! I'm Brendon! And this is Ryan! " he pointed to a sleeping boy with chestnut hair and a feminine face

"we killed his dad!"

I look up at josh, what had I done? And What did I get myself into


	5. Ryden Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***   
> mean flashback

"You Killed his dad!?"

 

"shhhh he's sleeping" He put a finger up to his lips "let me explain"

 

***

 

"RYAN! What the hell?  We have dated for two years! Two years Ryan! You fucking cheat on me and have the nerves to not even cover up your fucking hickeys?! Ryan?" I immediately soften my voice as he hugs me, sobbing on my chest "ryan? " I whisper

 

"I didn't" He sobbed "cheat!" I kiss his head, and lift his face up, wiping his tears away

 

"Ry, who gave you  the hickeys?"

 

He pulls his face away and looked down "my......father"

 

I gasp and start running towards Ryan's house, he's running after me. I've always been faster. I reach it quickly and pound my fist against the red door

 

A man opens it, a beer bottle in his hand, Ryan grabs my wrist "bren, please lets go" he looks so scared and helpless, I turn and look at the man, Ryan's father, make a fist full of rage and love and punch him square in the face

 

He backs away holding his face in his hand. He growls at me, I can faintly hear Ryan's sobs. The next noise I hear is the shattering of glass as his father has broken the beer bottle into nothing but a weapon 

 

Ryan steps in front of me, closing the door behind him. How is he so calm?

 

"father put it down please" he's approaching him, I hate it. "no ryan!" I grab his hand and run to the nearest room, the kitchen. I hold his shaking body against mine "Don't worry ry, it's gonna be fine" I kiss his head. I reach up quickly grabbing two knives from a holder on the counter and hand him one

 

"I'm so scared brenny"

 

I scream as I'm pulled up by his Father "let me go!" I stab my knife into his shoulder, he screams in pain but doesn't drop me, I look down to see if ryan can help. He's not there, he left me  _he left me!_

 

 

the next thing I know, I'm on the ground pinned by Ryan's father, I look up and see a more scared than ever Ryan Ross. My eyes dart to the body, a knife in the back of it

 

"I killed him bren....."

 

" _I killed him"_

 

***  _end of flashback***_

 

"next thing I know police are there, and then were in court, now were here. both of us 15 years" I smile at the amazement in Tyler's eyes

 

"you killed his dad all because of hickeys?!"

 

"turns out it wasn't a one time occurrence, it had been going on for a while, so yeah" I smile at ryan's sleeping body and kiss his head "I'd do it again in a heartbeat"


	6. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNING TALKS ABOUT SELF HARM***

I look up at josh, processing everything that Brendon just said.  "Don't worry Ty Ty, It'll be fine"  A sharp whistle pierces his words. I look across at Gerard and Frank. Their cell is open. So is mine Gerard catches my shocked expression "lunch" He steps out holding Frank's hand. I stepped out staying closely behind them. Brendon was behind having a still sleeping Ryan slung over his shoulder. Soon we were in a cafeteria. Brendon set ryan down in a booth and got in the line, Gerard and Frank in front of us.  I looked at my tray a sloopy joe and kidney beans. I hate beans. I went and sat down by ryan who was now awake. 

A guy in a fedora is sitting next to me, Patrick I assumed. He gave me a small hug and patted my head

 

"who are you?"

 

"tyler joseph"

 

"I'm Ryan I killed my"

 

"dad" I interrupted he nods and smiles as Brendon sits by him and hands him a slice of pizza 

 

I look down and pick up my fork 

 

_**"Oh! Good idea Goner. We could use this on your wrists"** _

 

"shut up!" I throw the fork across the floor

Patrick Reaches out to touch me, I pull away

 

Gerard and the others look at me.

 

I pick my tray up and throw it away, josh appears by my side "Tyler, in a place like this you need them to be your friends"

 

I've already stepped back in my cell, and its been locked, too late to go back now

 

"Josh? Why am I here"

 

"I don't know why tyler, I don't know"

 


	7. After Lunch

I sit at the edge of my bed, humming a low tune. My thoughts are interrupted by a voice

 

"Tyler?" I look up hoping it's Josh, it's not 

 

"Hey Patrick" He's standing in my cell, the guard locks the door behind him 

 

"why'd you go? Also I'm your roommate now" 

 

 _ **"Say anything about me and you're dead Goner"**_ And I know I can't. I lose them, their trust, everything that could help me here

 

"I was just overwhelmed with all the noise and people" I lie through my teeth. I need them to believe me. Because I know Patrick isn't the only one listening, I know the others are to, and I don't want them judging me, or treating me different 

 

"You really should have stayed, everyone on their first day gets a cupcake. " He reaches into the pocket of his jumpsuit and pulls out a slightly squished cupcake with poorly iced pink icing. 

 

I take it from his hands and break it in half giving half to him and taking the other, He smiles, and eats it.

 

I smile back, as long as they don't know the real me I'm fine

 

" _I'm fine"_


	8. Update

Hey guys. This got way more reads than I expected. School starts on Monday for me. Wo I decide I'll update this once a week.  
Please comment and ideas or suggestions for this fic or others

Thanks again

-morgan


	9. What am i to do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM MENTIONED**

It was so much harder to talk to Josh now that Patrick moved in, don't get me wrong, He's easily the nicest one here. But I  _needed_ Josh. 

 

Also, Blurryface was taking advantage of the situation,  " _ **Come on Goner, time to go outside"**_

 

I look up, and sure enough is the guard unlocking the door, I look over and Patrick is sleeping, That's the only time when he's bad, is if you wake him up from a nap. So I just leave him and walk out to the courtyard my head hanging low.

 

My feet plant into the ground,  I sit down under the only tree, in the corner, dragging my nails in the soft dirt

 

" _ **Goner! I spy a treat!"**_

 

 I pull my fingers away from the dirt, wincing softly, seeing blood bead from my pointer finger "what the hell blurry!" I mutter under my breath, and look towards the dirt, and spot a razor blade, it's tip peaking out,  a tiny bit of my blood on it

 

" ** _Goner you better take it, Or I'll make sure you never see Joshie again"_**

 

 

I look up, and across the field is Josh, he smiles and waves before going back in, vanishing from my sight

 

I stand up quickly "Blurry! Bring him back!"

 

Blurry's cold laugh echoes in my head " ** _Pick up the blade and go inside Goner, and he'll be there, and Patrick should be showering giving you some alone time"_**

 

I look down at it then back up, I can faintly see yellow hair, a tear forms in my eye. But I reach down and pick it up

 

" ** _Good job Goner, Now let's go see our Joshie"_**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment  
> follow me on quotev @followmeinstead


	10. No one can know

I set the blade under my  mattress and looked up and see a smiling Josh staring back at me, sitting on Patrick's bed

 

"Josh!" I run  and hug his waist nearly crying as he wraps his warm  arms around me "Hey Ty" 

 

"Joshie Joshie Joshie "I start crying into his sweatshirt, a gentle hand starts petting my hair "I'm right here Ty"  I look up and see the beautiful brown eyes I feel in love with looking back at me "Josh" I whisper. he smiles at me, god I missed that smile "I'm not going anywhere ty"

 

 

"Tyler? Who's Josh?"  

 

I turn around and gasp and see Patrick with a towel, drying his hair, staring at me

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on quotev @followmeinstead  
> Instagram @morgan.wright.the.dead


	11. GUYS

GUYS 

 

I JUST HIT 200 HITS

 

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please


	12. to tell the truth

I frantically look to see if Josh is still there, He's not. Was he even there before?

 

"josh?" I question Patrick, try to throw him off

 

"yeah josh, have you been crying? Your eyes are red" he sits on his  bed, right where Josh was. Josh Josh Josh "You know most people wont tell you this, specially in jail but its okay to cry" he stood up and walked over, sitting by me

 

"josh. Josh" I sighed, and moved, now leaning on Patrick "he's the reason I'm here"  Patrick patted my head, making my hair stick up in weird places 

 

"Patrick I I I killed him" i'm on the verge of tears, I have to think of a story and fast

 

"you did? Why?" he now has wrapped his arms around me, a hug. I haven't had one of those in a while

 

_**"Tyler listen to me. Tell him who Josh is and how died and you'll be dead by sunrise"** _

 

"we were friends. " God its so hard to look unempathetic  "we got in a fight, he started hitting me, hitting me bad. I grabbed a knife. Josh isn't here anymore" Not a lie, he wasn't and least not now. then I look across the cell, and see him looking at me with a hurt face, mixed with sadness and anger

 

"ty. I didn't do that, i'd never hurt you. Why are you lying?"

 

I stare at him, trying to tell him I cant talk now

 

"its okay tyler, You'll find out in jail if your friends are good or not..." I stopped listening to him as I gaze at josh 

 

"Never tyler never" He walks out, not out through, Through the cell bars

 

"josh " I whisper into what feels like nothingness even with warm arms holding me. They just don't feel like his 

 

" _Josh"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment


	13. friend, please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My birthday is in two days  
> Next chapter Friday 
> 
> -Morgan

"tha thanks Patrick" I gently pull away "I I'm gonna take a shower" He smiles and nods "okay Ty, don't get lost you're still new here!" he shouts as I leave, once I'm out of his view I break into a sprint trying to find him 

 

" _Josh Josh Josh"_ Is all I can think

 

_**"Little Joshie is gone. I want you to go back to your room and put that blade to good use. "** _

 

"n no I need to find him" I mutter, I'm about to cry

 

Crying can get you killed in here. Well, unless your Patrick that is.

 

Patrick! That's it!

 

"I cant right now blurry" I say with a slight mock in my voice " I'd love to but Patrick is there"

 

**_"skip lunch today then smart aleck. you could lose a few pounds. and I want to see pretty little lines on the fat thighs"_ **

 

"deal" I couldn't care less about me I just needed josh. I finally see him by the window, and I stand by him 

 

"I'm sorry joshie. It's just Patrick cant see you and I need you and if he finds out........I'll  lose you" I look up at him, his hair is pink and curly, I want to entangle my fingers in it while I kiss him

 

"you wont lose me Ty. I'm not going anywhere"  He kisses me long and hard the whole time the words ring out in my head

 

" _I'm not going anywhere"_

 

 


	14. I can feel your breath.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahahaha I'm an idiot  
> a procrastinating idiot  
> a failure  
> (I had a party on Friday)
> 
> somebody hit me up and maybe help write this
> 
> -morgan

We finally pull away. His lips as soft as I dreamed.His eyes I could stare into them all day

 

I don't

 

I wish I did.

 

But the lunch bell rings, scaring josh and he vanishes.

 

I look down "bye"

 

_**"hi there goner. Did'ya forget about me?"** _

 

"hey there blurry" I grumble as I make my way back to my cell

 

Cause I've got promises to keep.

 

and miles to go before I sleep

 

sleep

 

a forever slumber


	15. I can feel my death.

I lay on my bed, thinking about what I'm going to do, do I do just enough to hurt me?

Enough to kill me?

 

_**" I don't want you dead just yet goner. make it hurt"** _

 

I wince as my right hand becomes covered in black paint, is it paint? I don't know anymore

 

My right hand drags across my left wrist making several small cuts. The sick part is they all make a smiley face.

 

Blurry always did have a wicked sense of humor.

 

Finally he drops the blade, I drop the blade? Us? Him? Me? 

 

I slowly pick it up and put it under my mattress. Pulling my sleeve down.

 

What have I become?

 

 

 

I'm sorry 


	16. I want to know you.

I'm awoken by Patrick shaking me "Tyler! You missed dinner! You missed like the whole day!"

 

I put my hands in front of my face, the light hurting my eyes.

 

Patrick grabs my wrists.

 

"Fuck! Trick! let go!"

 

"oh I I I'm sorry....." he lets go softly, and looks down, then back up at me.

 

"wait a second. Tyler I am not strong. Well emotionally I am, but physically no. How could I have hurt you? Tyler! Let me see your wrists!" His look goes form hurt to confusion to worry in a minute.

 

"no" I whisper.

 

Patrick runs and tackles me. In a fucking hug, as he said be fore he wasn't strong. But he had surprise on his side. I feel the cold air on my wrists quickly.

 

"Tyler! Tyler! Why'd you do this? How? I will call the guards if you don't tell me."

 

"fine, just let go!"

 

He does.

 

"here's why" I say slowly

 

_"Guess you're ready to die tonight then goner. Say My fucking name and you'll end up like Joshie. "_

 

" Here's why" I say again this time louder.

 

And I have news for you blurry.

 

You.

must.

obey.

_ME!_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break, check out my other fic!


	17. I want to say

_" **Goner. When are you gonna get it? I'm the one in charge here. I am! Not you. Not us. Not anymore. Once I got rid of Joshie there was no one to hold me back. Now he's back! I need to get rid of your useless life. And we're doing it tonight"**_

 

"blurry I don't wanna. I don't wanna. Please..... I've started making friends. Josh is back. Please!"

 

" ** _Tyler! No "_**

 

"Blurry you already took him from me what more do you want?!"

 

Patricks against the wall scared as hell

 

**_"Shut up tyler! "_ **

 

My hand goes black as it grabs the blade and slits my wrist.

 

Patrick's yelling for the guards.

 

My other hand turns black and the other one is slit.

 

I hear the guards footsteps storming down the hall.

 

Then my neck is slit

 

Then it all goes black

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be one more closing chapter later next week
> 
> Check out my other fic
> 
> Stay Alive and keep running-  
> Morgan


	18. hello

" _Tyler......"_

 

_"Tyler"_

 

_"TYLER!"_

 

I jerk up, its so cold and so dark, I cant hear myself breathe. Probably cause I'm not. 

 

"Tyler!" I see Josh and then the whole worlds aglow. He holds me, he holds me.

 

 

"hello Josh, I've missed you"

 

"Hello Tyler, I love you" I smile at our stupidty

 

"He's gone isn't he ty?"

 

"Yes Josh, He's gone"

 

"Hello Tyler, Hello I love you"

 

"Hello I love you too" 

 

" _Hello"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this ending is bad, I kinda lost intrest in this fic, but wanted to finish it
> 
> Please comment
> 
> Stay alive and keep running-Morgan


End file.
